Shoes! What woman on earth wouldn’t trade her beau for a really awesome pair? But even the most ardent shoe-lover would have to admit that some shoes out there are just too damn ugly to be even worn while walking down a filthy, rat-infested, slimy alley in a hygiene-deprived slum area in a third-world country. Like these Nike Human Shoes! I mean if we wanted to look at a pair of giant unpolished feet with hairy toes, we’d just ask our sloppy overweight second cousins to take their socks off!

You’d think high street designers wouldn’t intentionally make shoes that don’t make any sense but I guess Antonio Berardi’s Heel-less Heels would be enough to prove you wrong.

Of course the animal lovers too pitch in with their own Animal Kingdom shoes though I’m sure even the staunchest PETA worker would disown this pair of giraffe-inspired shoes in a breath!

Cutesy inventions like the Bikini Sandal provide some humorous respite from all the craziness but then again you get things like the Soccer Boot Heels making your head spin all over again.

And what I can I say about this pair of towering High Chair Heels on stilts except that they’d be good for kids to steal cookie jars from top of refrigerators and bookshelves!

And don’t think those precious heels have been spared by the Ugly Brigade either. These Japanese shoes pretty much encompass everything that can ever go wrong with a high heel and they don’t even look all that comfortable either.